WINCHMORE HILL FOOTBALL CLUB
Season 2004-2005
First XI


Season 2004-2005
Having had a few weeks to digest the season that was, I look back with mixed feelings of missed opportunities but also of optimism for next year.

The 1st XI's season was littered with momentous highs and heartbreaking lows but overall finishing second in the top division of the SAL has to be regarded as a successful progression for the team.

We started inconsistently, registering an impressive away win at Nottsborough yet losing at home to Civil Service.  With only five points from a possible fifteen and confidence low, the team arrived at reigning champions Old Esthameians in search of salvation.  It arrived emphatically in the form of new signing Kris Sonne who lit up a dreary East London afternoon with an outstanding hat-trick and went on to score fifteen goals in the season.

This served as a catalyst for an upturn in our performances and the team then went on an unbeaten run that took them up to the crucial local derby with Norsemen at Christmas.  In a pulsating and often bad tempered match Hill clinched the points with a diving header from Neil Hurst in the closing moments which proved as constructive for our season as it was destructive for our near neighbours who never recovered and were eventually relegated.

This was swiftly followed by a crucial home victory against eventual champions Broomfield setting us up nicely for the business end of the season.  However, after losing the Middlesex Cup semi final to Old Meadonians we went on to lose crucial league fixtures against Old Actonians and Civil Service which ultimately cost us the championship. Against those two sides we took a point from a possible twelve.

Nonetheless we finished the season strongly and finished a comfortable second.  After winning Division Two a couple of years ago and coming fourth on our return to the top flight last year there is no reason that we cannot make the next step up and bring the SAL Championship home for the first time in over two decades next term.

The squad has a nice mix of youth and experience with new players such as Pete Gyles, Matty Knights, Rod Beyer, Chris Davison and Juyel Hussain blending in nicely with the senior players.  Danny Barker had a superb season in goal and the defence were again well marshalled by Ben Willis and Barry Chaters.  The veteran pair of Paul Strouts and Shane Foley were consistent throughout the campaign while Ben Penfold and Neil Hurst were both regular fixtures in the AFA Representative side and will tour Gibraltar with them later this month.  A testament to both the players and the club. Up front Michael Nathan, Kris Sonne and Jack Newton gave opposition defences headaches with their varied methods.

Thanks are due to Andy Russell for his commitment and zest for the job in hand and to all of the supporters who give up their time to follow us around London.

Overall it is a season to be proud of yet not fully satisfied.  We have the players and facilities that other clubs dream of.  If the squad can commit to unite as a cohesive unit for the whole season I'm sure the league title will follow.

Neil Hurst

Winchmore Hill 2 Old Parkonians 0

Amateur Football Alliance
Senior County (Middlesex/Essex) Senior Cup
Saturday 30 October
Report from Neil Hurst

After last weeks emphatic victory at Esthameians, Hill returned to the idyllic autumnal surroundings of the Paulin Ground ready to embark on another Cup campaign. Having merged the Middlesex and Essex Cups our opponents from Barkingside arrived in good time in their convoy of souped up Escort XR3i's only for the kick off to be delayed when the referee had to ask several of the Essex Boys to remove their sovereign rings and identity bracelets - a jewellery amnesty in N21!!!

As has been the norm for Hill so far this season injuries meant that the hosts had to make changes to the starting line up but were able to boast a full compliment of subs for the first time since Danny Barker started to lose his hair. Back came Neil Hurst and Shane Foley replacing Ben Willis (stitches in his head) and Juyel Hussain (sprained right wrist). The injury to Juyel was a bit of a mystery until Ben Penfold opened the young full back's kit bag to reveal a stash of porn that Larry Flynt would have been proud of, proving that its always the quiet ones you've got to keep an eye on. No wonder he always looks so confused when Andy Russell tells him to put balls into the box.

Shane Mullan managed to put his speed dating exploits and anti-natal classes to the back of his mind for the afternoon to deliver a commanding and assured performance alongside Barry Chaters at the heart of the Hill back four. Once underway, the game, like one of Juyel's DVDs, started at a frenetic pace with Hill laying siege on the Parks' goal. After fifteen minutes the pressure told when Pete Gyles' pass was flicked on by Kris Sonne into the path of the onrushing Michael Nathan who duly converted to register his fourth of the campaign.

Buoyed on by another bumper home crowd, Hill continued to launch wave after wave of attacks with Sonne hitting the woodwork twice and Hurst striking the post from long range. With half an hour on the clock Parks were hanging on for dear life as Penfold, Nathan, Sonne and Hurst continued to put pressure on the visiting defence while Foley and Paul Strouts pulled the strings in midfield.

Moments later the lead looked set to be doubled when Shane Foley picked up the ball in a position not too dissimilar to his AFA Cup winning effort eighteen months ago. However, after a week of sleepless nights and nappy changing the Hill skipper scuffed his shot wide into the cricket nets meaning that the expectant crowd will have to wait at least another week to see his Bebeto 'baby' celebration.

Parks then had their best spell of the match but were unable to find a way past a defence led by Barker's assured handling and Gyles' close marking and neat footwork, all of which were seen in action again a few hours later in Infernos, Clapham. With twenty minutes remaining the relentless pressure eventually resulted in a second goal when new recruit Rod Beyer skipped inside two challenges and fired home emphatically to notch his first goal for the club. On the other wing Matt Knights, on the for injured Hurst, also put in a sparkling display which bodes well for the squad as the next critical stage of the season approaches.

The 2-0 final scoreline didn't really reflect what was really a one-sided match but Parkonians industry meant that the hiding that looked on the cards never materialised and they are to be applauded for that. In the next round Hill entertain BB Eagles.

Old Esthameians 0 Winchmore Hill 4
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 23 October
Report from Neil Hurst


"HERE COMES THE SONNE"
"Today you must do more than is required of you. Never think that you have done enough or that your job is finished. There's always something that can be done - something that can help to ensure victory. You can't let others be responsible for getting you started. You must be a self-starter. You must possess that spark of individual initiative that sets the leader apart from the led. Self-motivation is the key to being one step ahead of everyone else and standing head and shoulders above the crowd. Never stop trying. Fill yourself with the warrior spirit - and send that warrior into action"

After an indifferent start to the season and with an already small squad deprived of the services of three of its senior players you could have been forgiven for expecting the worst when Winchmore Hill turned up at a rain soaked Blake Hall Sports Ground - home of reigning SAL champions Old Esthamieans. However, not only did Andy Russell's men return from East London with three points but with unity restored and passions reinvigorated.

Michael Nathan returned to partner Kris Sonne up front but with Hurst and Foley missing, the manager shuffled his pack meaning the in-form Pete Gyles moved into midfield and Ben Penfold played in the centre alongside the evergreen warhorse Paul Strouts - more of that later.

Both teams started brightly and the standard of play was high despite a poor surface and monsoon-like conditions. Old E's are notoriously a gritty, determined and robust side who look to dominate teams physically but led by Willis, Chaters, Strouts and Penfold, Hill stuck resolutely to their task as both sides went toe to toe searching for a sign of weakness or a moment of brilliance.

On 25 minutes it arrived when new signing Kris Sonne lit up a dreary afternoon with an outstanding piece of opportunism, firing an unstoppable shot into the top corner from long range in the blink of an eye. Visibly startled, the champions responded immediately but soon became increasingly frustrated by the Hill rearguard. Tackles continued to fly in as the pitch became wetter - some timed to Bobby Moore-esque perfection (Chaters), while others, like a Shane Mullan chat up line were wild, inappropriate and off target (Strouts). Nonetheless it was clear that the Hill had the stomach for the fight.

Having thrown away leads against Actonians, Norsemen, Broomfield and Civil Service already this season there was still work to be done and Hill didn't have to wait long for that all important second as the Great Dane Kris Sonne streaked through the opposition defence and saved Hill's bacon with his second of the match.

The visitors hadn't finished. On the hour it was three when Nathan tapped in after superb work down the left by Pete Gyles. To their credit the hosts didn't give in but time and again were crowded out for room in midfield with Penfold and Strouts both putting in tireless displays. The back four stood firm and Ben Willis finished the game with a Terry Butcher style blood stained shirt and a Gorbachev head bandage - warriors all over the pitch.

With five minutes remaining Sonne delivered the coup de grace with a superb solo goal to cap a stunning hat-trick - not really a piece of cake, more a Danish turnover if you like. He was rewarded for his efforts later with a pint of........well, everything. Not sure his missus believed him when he called her from the balcony at the Paulin citing train delays.

With seconds remaining the victory and clean sheet were sealed when Danny Barker leapt acrobatically to his left to tip what looked like being a consolation goal around the post. With key players to return and the house in order, exciting times lay ahead.

Polytechnic 1 Winchmore Hill 3
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 6th November 2004
Report from Neil Hurst

The metamorphosis continues.  Three weeks, three wins - nine goals for, just one against.  This wasn't Hill's most fluid performance of the season but it had all the hallmarks of everything that is good about this side.  Resolute in defence, clinical in attack and most importantly of all a collective willingness to work for one another - a band of brothers.

Hill were again forced to make changes with Kris Sonne back in Denmark and Paul Strouts late to arrive.  Strouts' journey to the Hill 1st XI has been a disjointed, stop-start affair but his commitment to the cause and popularity in the dressing room cannot be questioned.  There have been blemishes along the way particularly when celebrating a goal (Hill's 7th of the match) as though he had just been given a year’s supply of his beloved von Dutch caps but his importance to the side grows as the weeks pass.  With Hill legends Gower and Elfie gone he is the last soldier standing in a midfield full of artists although he took 'adding bite' a little too literally recently when he sunk his gnashers into Penners' calf during a team night out.

So when the curse of public transport struck him on Saturday who better to call upon than his very own alter ego.  Into the phone booth went Clark Kent and out came 'Superstrouts'.  Red pants, red cape and a £70 cab fare later and he was replacing the injured Rod Beyer having taken a detour en route to Chiswick to save a kitten from a tree and restore world order.

By this time Hill were already one goal to the good and shifting through the gears with consummate ease.  Pete Gyles found Jack Newton whose dreamy flick on enabled Michael Nathan to open the scoring.  Looking to capitalise on a frail looking home side, Hill continued the charge forwards and came agonisingly close to doubling their lead when Neil Hurst's header shuddered against the upright, in keeping with a player who is having more trouble with posts this season than a postman with one arm and one leg.

After soaking up an inevitable passage of sustained pressure from Poly the visitors got that all important second moments before the interval when Hurst finished astutely from Juyel Hussain's cross.  With a two goal lead in the bag, Hill played a more counter-attacking system in the second period exploiting gaps left by a Poly team desperate to salvage something from the match.  The pressure on the Hill back five rose as the hosts enjoyed their best spell of the match but with Barry Chaters, Ben Willis and Danny Barker in commanding form Poly lacked any cutting edge in the final third of the field.

With twenty minutes remaining came the move of the match when Chaters' barnstorming run deep into opposition territory fed Penfold whose pinpoint cross was smashed home by man of the match Jack Newton for a richly deserved goal.  Game over.  Poly were eventually rewarded for their work ethic with a late consolation but unfortunately the end of the match was marred by a series of skirmishes involving one Poly player who let his club down badly.

There is simply no place for comments like his in this day and age.  Poly are a proud club who have the distinguished honour of having won the Ian Hamilton Trophy (Fair play and hospitality) more than any other club and you could see why as the rest of their players and officials conduct was exemplary.  Shame one idiot didn't seem to care much for his club's proud traditions. 

Nevertheless we look forward to welcoming the rest of them to the Paulin and extending the same kind of cordiality in the return fixture.

Hill, however, march on hunting silverware on all three counts and have had four players selected (Willis, Penfold, Hurst and Sonne) for next weeks SAL Representative game.  If Strouts has stocked up on Kryptonite the sky's the limit!!!

Parkfield 1 Winchmore Hill 4
Amateur Football Alliance Senior Cup
First Round Proper
Saturday 13 November
Report from Neil Hurst

The AFA Senior Cup - the Holy Grail of a amateur football holds a special place in the hearts and minds of Winchmore Hill's senior players having won the competition in 2003.  If current form is anything to go by then you can safely say that Hill's newer recruits are eager to join their teammates on the club's prestigious 'Wall of Fame' and weave themselves into the rich tapestry of club history.

The day didn't start too well.  In recent weeks we have read all about Juyel Hussain's fledgling career as a budding football coach by day and an entrepreneurial porn magnate by night.  Balancing his 'load' is proving to be difficult!  Having missed the meet time by getting lost (on the A10!?!), Shane Foley called the young full back to offer assistance. When asked as to what landmarks and buildings were on view the reply came back: "I can't see much (too much adult literature?) but I've got trees on my left and houses on my right".  A rare sight in suburban London - Christopher Columbus he is not.

Hill eventually arrived at a bitterly cold Old Merchant Taylor's School (OMTS) ground and under the guidance of new recruit Matt 'Ashley Cole' Knights (he looks like him, he plays like him but it remains to be seen whether his missus is Cheryl from Girls Aloud) were soon doing a warm up that had more stretches in it than a maximum security prison.

Moments into the match this paid dividends when Barry Chaters' sublime through ball released the in-form Michael Nathan who easily outpaced the defender to notch his sixth of the campaign.  Within a quarter of an hour it was two when Neil Hurst rose the highest to head home Foley's inviting free-kick.  The hosts immediately hit back capitalising on some sloppy Hill play and reduced the deficit with a well taken effort from long range.  Suddenly Hill looked vulnerable as passes went astray and tackles were missed and Parkfield visibly grew in confidence.

However, against the run of play Hill's two goal lead was restored in sensational fashion when Hurst seized onto a loose ball in the centre circle and skipped past three or four desperate challenges before delicately chipping the keeper from twenty yards to the delight of the ample number of visiting supporters.

This was the cue for the opposition manager to reveal exactly what OMTS really stands for (Old Manager's Tourette's Syndrome) as he launched into his players with a tirade of verbal abuse that would have made Sir Alex Ferguson's hairdryer treatment seem more like a handheld fan.  Andy Russell's team talk on the other hand was one of composure yet concern at our inability to settle into a rhythm on a sloping pitch that presumably doubles up as the British Olympic Ski Base when it snows.  However, after a shaky start to the second half Hill were soon back into the groove and came close to clinching the game on a number of occasions with Kris Sonne's free kick being ruled out and Foley's spectacular volley just missing the upright before the tie was finally settled late on when the superb Ben Penfold scored from close range following yet another Hill corner.

Next week sees Hill entertain BB Eagles in the AFA County Cup.  Note to Juyel, the meeting time is 10am at The Paulin Ground, Fords Grove, London N21.

Winchmore Hill 3 BB Eagles 1
Amateur Football Alliance
Senior County Cup Round Two
Saturday 29 November
Report from Paul Strouts

The first time that BB Eagles set foot on the hallow turf that is the Paulin Ground, Winchmore Hill was Saturday 20 March 1943.  That day they were playing as Barclays Bank FC against a Winchmore Hill Side who had arranged the game as a charity match to raise funds for the clubs comforts fund.

That was 1943, this is 2004 and unfortunately BB Eagles were not going to find this Winchmore Hill side in such a charitable mood, the last four games for the Hill have resulted in four straight wins, 13 goals for and only 2 against so it was no surprise that none of the players or management were looking to lose this winning run against a side who were 2 leagues below themselves and considerably weaker on paper.  Despite this the Eagles had already dumped out a good side in Polytechnic and obviously fancied their chances of snaring another division one side as prey whilst dissecting them piece by piece.  After the first 10 minutes this was not looking very likely as the Hill, driven on by their inspirational skipper “Jimmy five bellies Foley” bombarded the Eagles nest with long and short range efforts, and was just reward when Kris Sonne (the Pot Bellied Viking) popped up to head home an excellent corner to make it 1-0 to the Hill.

From this moment on, Winchmore stopped playing and stooped to the same level as their opponents who were beginning to win their individual battles and take control of the game.  This has been a common problem for the Hill in previous games and yet again they did not go for the kill but instead seemed content with the single digit lead, which Andy Gray will tell you is never enough!  This was proved to be the case after 25 minutes when one of the Eagles players picked up the ball 25 yards out to smash home a glorious equaliser which even the legendary David Seamen could not have kept out.  This gave the visiting side all the confidence they required as they continued to peck away at Ben Willis’s defence and was made even worse when Barry Chaters, aka Santa Claus, forgot that Christmas was still a month away as he passed the ball straight to their Centre Forward (10 yards out) who somehow got his ball skills and shooting all wrong by putting his effort wide.  A serious “let off” for Santa and his Elf’s!!!!

Five Bellies was now starting to throw his weight around, sorry Elbows and was lucky to escape any disciplinary action, though tireless work by Paul “Didier Deschamps” Strouts, Pete Gyles, Ben Penfold and Michael Nathan helped keep the score level at half time.

They say that football is “a game of two halves” and this was definitely the case today, Winchmore came out for the second 45 a different team and proceeded to dominate from the kick-off, Pete Gyles was beginning to go on his trademark manoeuvres into enemy territory and the Hills midfield started to finally gain control of the game.  Ben Willis was superbly marshalling his troops at the back and it was only a matter of time before the Hill would take the lead.  This came on 65 minutes following a probing run by Ben Penfold whose shot, which was heading for the keepers top right, was deflected in by the unlucky centre half, who was also knocked out for his trouble.

Michael Nathan and the Danish Viking were starting to open up the opponents defence like a tin of Heinz baked beans and was to prove fatal for the Eagles as they combined for the third goal which ended up in a Kris Sonne tap in.  This was to distinguish any threat from the days opponents, but did leave enough time for Danny “safe hands” Barker to pull off another great save to stamp his claim for the Man of the Match Award!

Five straight wins, 16 goals for and only 3 against, bring on the next predator to be eaten!!!!

And Finally:-
Post match banter revolved around fitness levels and led to a gauntlet being laid by Penners and Bazza regarding to infamous “bleep test” of which current favourites include the Danish Viking, Five Bellies Foley and the Man Mountain (Master Willis), though players that will need to work on their fitness levels before this test takes place include Michael Nathan, Neil “Milky Bar” Hurst and Ben “boy band” Penfold who according to the Gaffer look like they are struggling with their fitness this term!

Until next time Soldiers….
Corporal Kent.

Norsemen 2 Winchmore Hill 3
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 18 December 2004
Report from Paul Strouts

“Round 2”.
The short walk across “No Mans Land” was to bring together two heavyweights of the SAL in the form of Winchmore Hill and Norsemen FC.  One heavyweight in tremendous shape, fighting for the title belt and the other looking old, (Sorry Mr. Casey) haggard and struggling to save themselves from a serious knockout.

For those that do not know, the rivalry between these two teams goes back many years (maybe Jack could remember) and if you look carefully you will find a large poster in the Norsemen bar, dating back to the 1950’s, highlighting the fact that Norsemen had beaten Winchmore Hill in the AFA cup final that year by three goals to one.  If the current Hill side were going to continue their push for the SAL Championship they could not allow this score line to be repeated today.

After the first five minutes this did not look likely after the “Viking Sonne” arrived unmarked in the Norsemen six yard box to easily head home the opener, leaving the Norsemen players looking around in total shock like they had just heard that Old Owens had been beaten 5-0!!!!

This team as talented as it is, can also be susceptible to getting caught out and before the Hill knew what was going on they were 2-1 down, the first was a dubious penalty conceded by good old Santa (aka Barry Chaters) who got confused that this time of year is not a “time for giving” to everyone, especially a Norsemen centre forward.  The second to be fair was a well-made goal, which was constructed by the Norsemen midfield, and following a clever flick in the Hills six yard was ruthlessly finished.

By this stage the game had become a fairly scrappy affair, though with Michael Nathan and Kris Sonne up top, the Hill would always be able to pose a threat, so it was no real surprise when after a defensive error by the Norsemen centre back that the Viking was to capitalise by taking it round the keeper and slotting home to level things up.  Other chances during the 1st half fell to Penfold (stop tackling goal posts, it’s bad for your health), Hurst, Strouts and Nathan, though at the interval a draw was probably a fair result.

The second half saw both teams try to take control of the game, though as each minute passed, Winchmore were looking the more likely to land the ultimate blow.  Captain Foley and his Elf’s were starting to take control, in particular Hurst, Penfold and Nathan who were all making probing runs into the opposing half and it seemed like only a matter of time before the referee would step in and stop the fight, though like most seasoned fighters at this weight it only takes one punch to end the contest and it looked like the punch drunk Norsemen would be the ones to land it before good old Spunky (aka Danny Barker) pulled off a magnificent save to his top right to keep Winchmore in the fight. 

By this stage both teams were becoming very aggressive in their play, in particular Captain Foley and the Norsemen No8 who was soon to see red after losing a game of “snap” with the man in black, another fracas ensued immediately after which created a melee involving ten players including Captain Foley who was being circled on the floor, making it look like something out of a “Break dancing” movie, maybe they were all admiring Foleys new “Belly Spin”!

The last 15 minutes looked like petering out like a typical end of season mid-table clash, though the arrival of Uncle Festa (you must know who that is) and Ashley Cole (aka Matty Knights) gave Hill the impetus to go on and get the winner.  This was to be the case after 86 minutes (better late than never) when the good looking Ben Penfold had driven to the bye line and delivered a mesmerising ball into the Norsemen box which in the absence of Superman was met perfectly by the flying head of Mr.Freeze (aka Neil Hurst) who seemed to hang in the air for an inhuman amount of time, who said “white men can’t jump”?  This led to big celebrations including an “Alex Ferguson” style run onto the pitch by the usually reserved Andrew Russell, derby games do strange things to some people!  Great move, great goal, great celebration.

That was enough to condemn Norsemen to the bottom of the league for Xmas and put the Hill in a excellent position to seriously challenge for the title in 2005.

Happy, Happy Christmas.
“Sick Boy”.  

Winchmore Hill 2 Broomfield 1
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 15 January
Report from Mike Bowen

GETTING out of jail is a familiar Football colloquialism. This was more like swimming to Alcatraz, having tea with the Governor, nicking his keys and re-appearing on the other side of San Francisco Bay with all 467 inmates.

After having our pockets picked by Broomfield for several seasons, this was the day the rub of the green went our way and we stole the points. And just as happened in another vital derby at Norsemen at the end of last year, it was a sublime header, which settled it. Neil Hurst did the business just over the A10 and Kris Sonne delivered the coup de grace on Saturday.

Whether the consequent swing of four points in our favour wins the title, only time will tell. But six bottles of the finest Shampoo says it does and I may be a fool but normally my money and me are seldom parted.

Kris Sonne’s decision to join us at the Paulin Ground is proving a significant factor in our march up the League. There is no better goal-scorer and more defter touch in the SAL…he paralyses defenders with his close control.

Danny Barker gets better and better in goal and there is an indomitable spirit about the side which is unrivalled. We kept going against Broomfield and for once the Gods were with us.

But Saturday’s key figure was Richard Edward Melvin, a Level 5 referee from Ealing. He was to prove brave and long-suffering, making his decisions swiftly and impartially. But to deliver him a game of this importance with no linesmen was madness.

He played no part in the opening goal, which was scored with customary certainty by the talented Neil Hughes… but the sequence of events which  followed transformed the match. This is how I saw them:

1) Jack Newton chases a through ball and fouls keeper Mick Robbins, who retaliates with a haymaker, which deposits the aforementioned Newton on the deck. Result: Red Card for Robbins, Yellow Card for Newton (for reckless challenge) and equaliser by Ben Penfold from the spot. Broomfield argue that since Jack committed the first offence they should have been awarded a free kick.

2) Long ball played in , Ben Willis gets caught slightly out of position and ball loops off his head over keeper Danny Barker into the net.  Richard Melvin spots a push on Willis and disallows the goal. Perfectly good call but the stroke of luck we need as Broomfield play better with cool heads and ten men than previously.

3) The winner: With only three minutes left Broomfield concede a soft corner when a cooller approach would have put the ball over the touchline. Ball is in flight when somebody stamps the words GOAL SONNE indelibly on the ball. The Dane obliges with a stunning header from six yards.

Broomfield are deflated but there is no sense of triumphalism from the Hill. Nothing betrays the overriding emotion that this is a very big win indeed. 

Winchmore Hill 1 Old Owens 1
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 22 January
Report from Paul Strouts

Chelsea v Arsenal, Barcelona v Real Madrid, Doncaster v Hull, Winchmore Hill v Old Owens, these are the types of games that can shape ones season.  Winners normally progress to better things and losers end up with empty trophy cabinets, so it was imperative today that Winchmore did not give any ground to one of their closest title contenders!  Talk of winning leagues maybe a little premature considering the amount of games that still remain, though a good result for the Hill today would definitely continue the push in the right direction.

Winchmore Hill do not currently have the benefit of a 10 point gap at the top of the table, though what we do know from the seasons work so far is that this years team are well marshalled at the back, robust in midfield and lethal up front, so you do not find that many sides who envy the prospect of facing them on their footballing calendar.

After Old Owens 10-4 drubbing of Lloyds Bank the previous week you could have forgiven them for thinking that they could continue their goal spree at the Paulin ground, though this was not going to be!  Winchmore were offered a pre-match boost with the news that the “Blonde Bombshell” would be allowed to start despite having a broken hand and enough wrapping round his cast to cover the 6 yard box, though this was to prove vital later.  The Hill lost the toss and allowed Old Owens to get things going, in typical fashion Foley and his entourage were fast out of the blocks, though to be fair Owens soon caught up with both sides competing for every ball and creating an equal amount of opportunities.  As the first half progressed it was looking as the Hill would be more likely and this was to be the case after about 25 minutes, Strouts produced a defence splitting ball which was picked up by Ben Penfold, who then drove the ball across the 6 yard box to be perfectly laid off by the evergreen Jack Newton to the “Master of Plaster” (Neil Hurst) to smash home from 8 yards out.  1-0 Hill and probably one of the best worked goals this season.  This could have made for an interesting game if the referee had allowed things to keep flowing, though unfortunately he did not and at times both sides became frustrated as they could not get their rhythm going, leading to numerous yellow cards and a silly elbow by Captain Foley!!!  The remainder of the half was tight, unlike Norwich’s defence though could have been 2-0 after a copy cat move for the goal was repeated only for the usually reliable Viking to shoot wide.  Old Owens did have a penalty claim, though this was probably the best chance they had and 1-0 at half time was probably fair.

The second half saw a change in formation for Old Owens, though this did not really change too much as both sides traded blows in the opening 15 minutes, before a fluke goal was to bring the teams level!  How Old Owens can say they are a better footballing side than Winchmore is surprising considering the la
ck of quality in the goal that they produced….

Owens continued to push forward and were unlucky not to go 2-1 up, which was mainly due to Danny Barker producing a triple save to keep Old Owens out (probably the best collection of saves I have seen this season).  This sparked Winchmore into action and the final 20 minutes was all about the home side.  The introduction of Michael Nathan (good to see you back mate) scared the Owens defence rigid and on another day he could have had a couple due to his electric pace and Kris Sonne could have grabbed a token.  Honours ended even after 90 minutes which was probably a fair result, both sides stay in the title chase; though surely with the amount of games that Owens have to play they are the ones who really have the work to do!

Until next time!

Paul “Anyone seen my Pants” Strouts.  

Old Salvatorians 0 Winchmore Hill 2
Amateur Football Alliance Middlesex/Essex Senior Cup
Saturday 29 January
Report from Paul Strouts

“Cardiff, here we come”
Cup quarter finals are never easy games to play, (especially when you start as favourites) and this could definitely be said of today’s duel!  On arrival at Old Salvatorians ground the away team were not greeted by a mass of baying fans, Sky cameras and the countries press, instead a muddy car park, cold changing rooms and a waterlogged pitch, the wonders of Amateur football!

Winchmore’s small contingent of fans were looking forward to a fairly safe passage into the semi-finals, though with Michael Nathan missing and Ben Willis turning up five minutes from kick-off, preparation wasn’t exactly ideal.  The first ten minutes was all the home side, they were getting the ball down and seemed to have more desire than Winchmore Hill, which was surprising considering the unbeaten run that the boys from the Paulin ground are currently on.  As has been the case before, Winchmore were forced to defend the Castle and await their opportunity to counter attack, which is normally very effective for this team, though today for some reason the magic didn’t seem to be working.  The ball did not seem to be sticking up front and due to poor pass selection from the midfield, Winchmore were making the days work very, very difficult for themselves.

The Old Salvatorians midfield were becoming ever so threatening as was the No9, though superb defending by the back four in particular Ben Willis and Barry Chaters and tackle after tackle by Paul Strouts in the middle allowed the score to remain even at 0-0.  The terrible state of the pitch did not allow Winchmore to get their normal game going through Neil Hurst and Ben Penfold, though in typical fashion the ball broke on the Hills attacking left and after a goal-bound strike in the opponent’s 18 yard box, it was to hit a defender and flash past the keeper for 0-1 Winchmore.  We were warned before kick-off that this was a team who did not give up very easily and going a goal behind seemed to make them more determined to break us down.  Their reward did come on 35 minutes when a neat passing move opened up the Hills defence only to see one of their midfielders get bundled over in the box for a penalty….  Luckily for the away side Danny Barker was in inspired form (as per usual) and managed to dive to his top left to keep Winchmore’s slim advantage leading up to half time.  The final 10 minutes of the 1st half remained fairly even, with both sides creating half chances but not taking them.  0-1 at half time flattered the Hill, though it was a good opportunity to regroup and kick down the “muddy slope” for the second half.

The second forty five was to be very similar to the first, though Winchmore were starting to get the ball down themselves which was starting to cause the home side concerns particularly when Penfold, Newton and Sonne were in possession.  The home team were again peppering the Winchmore 18 yard box, though as per usual Ben Willis (Man of Match) and his three musketeers (Barry, Peter and Rodney) were all holding up their “denied” cards to keep the enemy at bay.  If they can keep up this type of performance for the remainder of the season then Winchmore will definitely be well placed for a share of the spoils come May.

Winchmore should have put the game out of reach after 80 minutes, though unfortunately Uncle Festa was to shoot wide but made up for this error in injury time after a mesmerising run by Ben Penfold was to present him with an opportunity that he could not miss, despite this Jack still had two touches to make sure!

That was to finally kill the tie off despite a brave fight from Old Salvatorians and put Winchmore into the next round, an ugly game but a job well done all the same!

See you in the Semi’s!!!!

Stroutsie.

PS – Matty, can you bring your Snoop Dodgy Dog CD on Saturday as I really enjoyed listening to him (loudly) all the way to Watford!!!!!

Winchmore Hill 0 Old Actonians 3
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 5 February
Report from Paul Strouts

“Unbeaten run ends too easily”.
All unbeaten runs come to an end sometime and today it was to be the unfortunate turn for Winchmore Hill.  No-one from the Management team, to the playing staff should feel too downcast though as the season so far has been a huge success, all we need to do is remember how good a side we are, stick together and rebound as quickly as possible, starting next week against West Wickham.

You knew it was going to be a bad day at the office when half the squad started to suffer from strange injuries, Neil Hurst pulled out with his 29th injury of the season, Ben Willis was suffering from a bad knee after “clicking it out of place” whilst sitting on the sofa though the best one of all was Jack “falling apart” Newton who apparently pulled his hamstring whilst sleeping!  According to his wife it sent him into a seizure causing the reaction to jump up and down in bed which his wife tells me is the first time he’s done that in a couple of years!!!

Old Actonians didn’t bring any surprises with them to the Paulin Ground so we knew what we were up against; especially after their centre back did his “morning sickness” routine before we had even kicked off.  They were going to be solid, vocal and difficult to break down.  The first 45 was a pure footballing lesson for Old Actonians, the Hill were controlling midfield and creating good chances to take 1st mover advantage, though each time we created a goal scoring opportunity there was an Old Actonian to snuff it out.  The Hill were starting to find success down their right hand side and a move involving Strouts, Penfold and Sonne nearly produced the opener, though good defending (again) kept it out.  Other good chances fell to Michael Nathan who was a constant threat all game and the Viking Sonne who should have added to his already impressive tally.

Captain Foley was beginning to pull the strings in midfield and Ben Penfold was making more and more probing runs into the heart of the Old Actonians defence, despite this Winchmore could not stop Actonians scoring from their only chance of the half.  Their central midfielder picked up the ball 20 yards out, lit up his cigar and smashed it home past Danny Barker.  Half time 0-1 Actonians.

The second half was not a very nice experience for the Hill who did not seem to restart after the break; it felt like they had exerted all their energy in the first half and had nothing left for part 2.  The Hill did create chances but were not lucky enough to capitalise on some nice link up play.  The last 25 minutes was to be all about the Old Actonians substitute who created the second goal and scored the third.  By this stage the game was well and truly over with the only consolation being that Norsemen lost too!

If this team is going to challenge for honours at the end of the season then they need to re-surface from today’s sinking as quickly as possible by snatching 3 points next week and make their title contenders have to go and win the league rather than lay down and hand it over.

For those that do not know it was Neil Hurst’s birthday party on Saturday!!!  In order to celebrate the team joined the birthday boy in Islington for a few celebratory drinks.  Jurel wearing more “bling bling” than Mr.T, Gylesy and Penfold looking more “boy band” than ever and Captain Foley getting more drunk than I have ever seen him, which is strange really, considering the fact than little to his knowledge during every round of drinks he wasn’t getting a “Double Vodka Coke” but instead just a straight “Diet Coke”!  It’s OK though mate, the mind can play strange tricks on a middle aged man……..

Until next time folks.

“The Whip Holder”.  

Winchmore Hill 3 West Wickham 0
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 12 February
Report from Paul Strouts

“Back on Track”
With Winchmore Hill second in the league and West Wickham second from bottom, there should only really have been one winner in the contest between “title challenger” and “trap door escape artist”, though as we found out to our peril last week there really are no easy games in the league this year and despite what the score line suggests this was to be far from a walkover.

The Hill were without three key players on Saturday, Rod was away on a “Cub Scout Meeting” whilst Penfold and Chaters were last seen holding hands and heading for the Euro star to Paris….

Winchmore welcomed back the inspirational Neil Hurst after his recent Birthday (30),  Jurel who had returned to the team after successfully setting up his home movie business and Joe “I’ve seen milk turn quicker” Hackworthy who was deputising for the big gay bear Chaters.

West Wickham came to the Paulin Ground full of hope that they could seriously take some point’s home with them after the Hill's result last week, and after the first fifteen minutes the home fans were starting to think this too.  The Hill's defence were either feeling charitable, or they had overdosed on sleeping tablets the night before as the first good chances were presented to the West Wickham forward line after bad decision making and lacklustre defending.  The only reason why the home side had not fallen behind was due to luck, great keeping by Danny Barker and terrible finishing by West Wickham’s front line. 

After our numerous warnings the boy’s were starting to grab hold of proceedings and enjoyed a good spell of possession which sadly did not convert into that many clear cut chances.  Michael Nathan and Neil Hurst were becoming more and more involved through the middle and on the right, though even these two could not break the deadlock, and with Foley and Strouts swapping roles, the Hill were beginning to look like a more solid outfit heading for the interval.

Half time was to be goalless, though Winchmore  were looking the more likely to go on and produce something special compared to their “meat and potato” opponents who will need to dig deep to escape the hole that they have found themselves in.

The moment of magic was to come straight after half time through Neil Hurst who blew past Wickhams left back to cross for Michael Nathan (I’m sure he’s getting even quicker) who made no mistake in putting Andy Russell’s men ahead.  West Wickham looked a beaten side after going behind and to add insult to injury, Shane “quick thinking” Foley lined up to take a free kick just outside the opponents 18 yard box, though before the keeper was set, the wall was built or anyone was looking, Foley smashed the ball round the disjointed wall and past the stationery keeper, hitting the top corner!  This boy may not be the quickest mover in the team, but on this evidence he has definitely got the quickest brain…quality.

The remainder of the half was fairly uneventful apart from the West Wickham central midfielder throwing all his toys around the centre circle, a hurricane style rain storm that nearly blew Jurel and Matty Knights away and a cool finish by Jack Newton to make it 3-0 and three points to the Hill.

Until the next big game gladiators!
Stroutsie.

PS – Men of match were Michael Nathan and Neil Hurst for their awesome work rate. 

Winchmore Hill 2 Old Esthameians 1
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 19 February
Report from Neil Hurst

The championship winning sides of the 'Purple Patch', the late sixties and early eighties were all on parade at The Paulin Ground on Sunday to celebrate the club's 125th anniversary.  Presidents, Chairmen, Life Members, Officials, players past and present convened under one roof with one common love, yet the question seemingly on everyone's lips at the moment is whether today's side can join its esteemed predecessors at the top table of SAL football and add a long awaited championship to its recent successes.

After a hard fought 2-1 home victory over Old Esthameians twenty four hours earlier it remains a distinct possibility.  Hill went into the game without several key players.  Kris Sonne was in Copenhagen performing at 'THE DANES' where his band picked up the Best Song gong for "My train is delayed baby (I'm going to be late)" taken from the critically acclaimed album 'Goal Machine'.  With Barry Chaters and Ben Penfold only available as substitutes after a 16 hour coach trip back from the French Alps, manager Andy Russell was thankful that his squad has depth as well as strength.  Chris Davison and Matty Knights both impressed on the flanks while Neil Hurst partnered Shane Foley in his preferred central midfield role.

After being unceremoniously thrashed on their own patch back in October, Esthameians looked intent on exacting instant revenge but it was the hosts who started brightly displaying pace and panache in attack.  With ten minutes on the clock Davison fed the in-form Michael Nathan on the inside left channel and he showed speed of thought as well as foot to put Hill one up.  Moments later Esthameians were carved open again when Foley released Hurst through the middle who in turn teed up Davison only for his effort to clear the crossbar.

Hill continued to dominate without reward and when Esthameians were reduced to ten men shortly before the interval when a reckless challenge was followed up with some choice language it looked as if the game could be over as a contest.  Not so.  The Eastenders are made of sterner stuff than that and Dirty Den's earlier than expected exit spurred the reigning champions on and they were soon level when Martin Fowler powerfully headed home a pinpoint cross from Alfie Moon.  Suddenly it was Hill who kept forgetting their lines and the half-time whistle was as welcome as a swift half in the Queen Vic allowing the hosts to rethink and regroup.  

After a cagey opening to the second half it was clear that a point was no good to either side and buoyed on by the introduction of Penfold, Hill regained the initiative and looked the more likely winners. 


The match ebbed and flowed as both sides matched each other forcommitment and work-rate and a tacticalmasterstroke from Russell almost paid immediate dividends when Hurst and Penfold switched positions and the latter's stinging drive crashed against the post from twenty five yards with the keeper rooted to the spot. Winchmore were not to be denied and minutes later Knights' slide-rule pass put Hurst through on goal and his deft finish put Hill back into the ascendancy.

A third and clinching goal nearly arrived on numerous occasions but ultimately some superb defending from Hackworthy, Gyles and Willis in particular and a stunning late save from Barker meant that Hill deservedly took the points to keep the pressure on leaders Broomfield who seem pretty confident that they have won the league already.  A case of counting chickens before they have hatched?  Time will tell.  With five games remaining Hill must concentrate solely on their own performances.  

Winchmore Hill 0 Old Meadonians 5
Amateur Football Alliance
Middlesex/Essex Senior Cup Semi Final
Saturday 26 February
Report from Neil Hurst

HILL LEARN HARSH LESSON AT MEADS' FINISHING SCHOOL
If only the linesman hadn't raised his flag.  If only we'd taken our chances.  If only the ball had rebounded off the post differently.  If only.  Ifs, buts and maybes have never won anything.  No excuses, Winchmore Hill were soundly beaten by a clinical Old Meadonians side on Saturday to reaffirm their status as the best team in amateur football. Sure, the scoreline is misleading but it doesn't make it easier to accept or excuse.

Everything was in place.  The pitch was once again superb, a testament to the hard work of groundsman Martin Charters after a week of bad weather.  A capacity crowd turned up in anticipation of an even contest between two of the best sides in AFA football and the two most recent winners of the AFA Senior Cup.  They got it in all but scoreline.  The fact remains though, that matches are won with the hard currency of scoring goals.

Hill started brightly with Michael Nathan and Neil Hurst's pace causing a few early alarms to the visiting defence.  On fifteen minutes Hill thought they had the lead when Nathan stabbed home from close range after Ben Willis' effort had been blocked by the keeper only to be denied by an offside flag.  Moments later Ben Penfold and Hurst combined down the right to feed Kris Sonne whose effort shaved the post.  With their tails up the hosts continued to probe and Sonne was again unlucky to be denied by Sayers in the Meads goal who had a fine game.

The reigning AFA champions were rattled but did not panic.  Shortly before the interval Hill relinquished possession all too easily in midfield and Colin Hawkins let fly from fully thirty yards, crashing against both post and bar and into the path of strike partner Glover who gratefully nodded home.

The half-time team-talk revolved around replicating much of the good work from the first half , asking questions and taking chances while keeping the back door firmly shut.  However, within fifteen minutes the best laid plans were torn to pieces as Meads punished Hill's wayward finishing and uncertainty at the back to put the tie out of reach with three quick goals. Hill momentarily lost their shape, visibly stunned by the position they found themselves in after playing some good football.

To the teams credit no-one can be faulted for effort and Hill passed the ball sublimely around a Meads' side happy to retain their lead.  Hurst's long-range effort thudded against the bar after another slick passing move involving Chaters and Gyles before Hill concede a fifth goal to add insult to injury.  There is no doubt that Meads deserved to win the game but Hill must not be too despondent and look more closely at their performance rather than the final score.  Five league games remain as does a tried and tested defence, an inventive midfield and a potent strikeforce.  If you judge this team when twenty league games have been played, there will be no buts.
 

Civil Service 4 Winchmore Hill 2
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 5 March
Report from Neil Hurst

A thoroughly disappointing day for the Hill.  After already gifting Civil Service all three points at the Paulin ground back in October the home supporters could be heard singing "Can we play you every week?" after Hill chose this critical match to turn in comfortably their worst performance of the season.

On a poor pitch Service were first to everything and passed the ball better than their title chasing opponents.  Service could have had the lead inside 60 seconds but for a reckless finish.  On fifteen minutes the deadlock was broken after Hill gave the ball away cheaply and the lead was almost doubled moments later only to be denied by a miraculous save low at his near post by Danny Barker.

Things went from bad to worse for Hill just before half-time when the referee allowed play to go on despite the goalscorer being at least five yards offside but in fairness it was no more than Civil deserved.

After some choice words and a change in formation Hill reappeared for the second half desperate to salvage something from the game only to be pegged back further by a slick move on the break.  At last Hill came alive and hit back almost immediately when Ben Penfold scored from the spot after being fouled himself but any chance of a miraculous escape vanished moments later when Hill were again punished on the break.  There was still time for Hill to score a second when Neil Hurst scored a fine individual goal but it was too little too late.

Four games remain and Hill must raise themselves immediately.  The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little bit extra.  

Winchmore Hill 2 Polytechnic 1
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday 19 March
Report from Neil Hurst

Winchmore Hill returned to winning ways on Saturday after three defeats on the trot had effectively ended the team’s hopes of a league and cup double. Nevertheless, with an automatic Champions League place up for grabs and a newly aligned target of finishing 2nd set in place, Hill welcomed a Polytechnic team who had just qualified for the final of the much-vaunted AFA Senior Cup. Lucky them.  However, the visitors also find themselves in a relegation dogfight at the other end of the table so there was much riding on the game played out in idyllic springtime conditions at The Paulin Ground.

Once again Andy Russell had to contend with varied availabilities, which has been a season long problem.  With Barry Chaters, Rod Beyer and Ben Penfold all unavailable, Hill were thankful to be able to recall Kris Sonne, Joe Hackworthy and Pete Gyles.  Gylo, in particular seemed to return to the fold with a spring in his step and a twang in his accent.  After months of incessant abuse (from both teams) about his Owens' roots/haircut/dress sense/squad number, young Peter was packed off to New York by his Chairman/Father, worried that the buccaneering young left back was in danger of mental and physical burn out after a tiring but impressive season.  A few days in the Big Apple among friends would set him right.  Little did we know that the real purpose of the trip was to visit a young Yankee chick called Gail (yes, we've asked if she blows like one) who Gylo has been pining after since his travelling days after months of no success with ladies in London. After an impromptu marriage proposal in Central Park and a Vegas-style wedding our young hero returned to the dressing room on Saturday with a college boy haircut, an inability to drink, a tendency to whoop and holler at the most trivial thing and an aching heart after it was revealed that the aforementioned Gail turned out to be a minor.  Keep it real tough guy, yo homies have got your back!  Peace out!

Anyway, the match.  After an almost disastrous start when the visitors could have taken the lead in the opening seconds the Hill settled into their stride and started to open up Poly down the flanks with Neil Hurst finding Chris Davison and Matty Knights in acres of space on numerous occasions. Davison in particular was causing Poly all kinds of trouble but was unable to put the finishing touch on a fine move involving Shane Foley and the impressive Michael Nathan.  Slowly, lover boy wide receiver Gyles got involved in a move down the left which resulted in a flag on the play and a twelve yard penalty when Davison was felled in the end zone after some pass interference from the Poly defence.  With regular field goal kicker Penfold absent Hurst stepped up to slam the ball into the top corner.  TOUCHDOWN WINCHMORE!

Hill continued to press forwards looking for that all-important second goal but Poly fought back gallantly and put the hill back line under constant pressure.  At right back, Paul Strouts was all energy and bone-crunching tackles while the mercurial Hackworthy impressed alongside the old warhorse Ben Willis.  In the second period the visitors took the game to Winchmore but time and again Danny Barker's assured handling kept the Red Sea at bay. With the game becoming stretched Hill began to re-impose themselves on the game and were unlucky to be denied what looked like a valid goal when Knights was adjudged offside.  Moments later Knights was in the thick of the action again when Hurst's incisive pass put him though on goal only to be denied by some heroic last ditch defending by the Poly.

With twelve minutes remaining Hill doubled their lead after Sonne won a corner with a typically bamboozling run.  Davison's short corner found Nathan whose deep cross was headed home by Hurst to give Hill some breathing space.  However moments later Poly struck back setting up a tantalising final ten minutes, but ultimately the Hill were worthy winners leaving them in good shape for second place while Poly must battle it out with West Wickham and Norsemen to avoid the dreaded drop and Gylo must get back to collecting his air miles.  

Old Owens 2 Winchmore Hill 2
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Wednesday 30 March
Report from Neil Hurst

Seeing as Sully (see Owens website) has already had a stab at trying to write my match report for me this week (big shoes to try and fill mate!) I thought it would be rude not to reply on behalf of the Hill.  Behind all the bitching, whinging and overwhelming self-appraisal lies what is actually a decent report. Apparently mine is supposed to read something along the lines of them starting well (true), having little end product (also true), fantastic Hill spirit at 2-0 down (true) and us being elated with our point (true and I challenge anyone not to be delighted with that given the position we were in).

As usual Owens had half of their 'gorgeous' looking side missing but still found a place for a ringer or two (Gant is an Enfield player and I bet West hasn’t paid a sub).  Having donned the fake tan and touched up the highlights Owens dragged themselves out of their boudoir and began at a frenetic pace. Arnold was flying into tackles and at one point I’m sure I noticed a spec of mud on his shorts (naughty naughty - that'll be a club fine) while Mann's hair looked slightly out of place (doesn’t it always?).

Hill (looking to extend on their overall record vs Owens of Pld 4, W 2, D 1,L 1) were asked to do a lot of defending in the first half with the outstanding Danny Barker impressing with some fine saves.  On 35 minutes Barry Chaters tainted an otherwise faultless display by giving up possession on the edge of his box and the predatory Mann needed no second invitation to notch his first of the game.

Hill reached the interval no worse off and much of the teamtalk revolved around keeping our shape and looking to dominate the middle of the park more although Pete Gyles also needed to have treatment after having his sphincter penetrated by an Owens player (i think it was Arnold but its usually Gaskell every Friday night).  However minutes into the second half disaster struck when Forwell's sublime flick on put Mann through in goal to give the home side a deserved two goal lead.  At this point things looked bleak particularly when the visitors lost both Nathan and Gyles to injuries.

However, Andy Russell's men are made of sterner stuff and led by Neil Hurst and Ben Penfold, Winchmore began to dominate proceedings as the light began to fade.  With twenty minutes remaining Hurst's quickly taken free-kick crashed in off the bar to reinvigorate the Hill effort.  Minutes later Penfold shaved the post with a stinging drive while Kris Sonne and Jack Newton came more and more into the fore.

Suddenly the hosts looked like they had spent too long on the sunbed as wave upon wave of Purple attacks put the Owens' back four under pressure. Something had to give.  With just two minutes remaining Sonne was hacked down inside the penalty area after a typically spellbinding run.  Penalty to the Hill.  Hang on, it’s almost dark and the referee cant see past his own nose.  Decision:  free-kick. This time Chris Davison stepped up and curled an absolute peach into the top corner.  Mayhem ensued.   Hill celebrated.  Owens whinged.  Broomfield came off best.

Owens may lay claim to being the best side around but they have won nothing of note since 2001-2.  Alex Ferguson once claimed Manchester United were the best side around after a trophyless season to which Arsene Wenger replied: "Everyone thinks that they have the prettiest wife at home" - take note!

Shortly after reading the Owens report I also noticed this on their website:

FOR SALE:  Second hand pram, one previous owner.  Does not include dummy or toys.

Until next year.......

Winchmore Hill 3 Nottsborough 0
Southern Amateur League
Senior Section Division One
Saturday April 2nd 2005
Report from Neil Hurst

This was supposed to be the day Hill were crowned champions in the Club's 125th year. The dream will have to wait but on this performance there is no need for mass panic or sweeping changes - next season can be THE season.

There is now plenty of time to reflect on where the Hill fell short in order to build a championship winning side next term.  Two years ago we won Division 2 and announced our revival as one of the big clubs by winning the AFA Senior Cup.  Last season we finished fourth in the top flight.  This year we have an eight-point cushion in second place and can only finish third at worst.  With a few additions and alterations the progression to the pinnacle of the SAL can be achieved.

Hill went into Saturday's game without Barry Chaters, Pete Gyles and Chris Davison meaning a change to a 3-5-2 formation.  The back three of Ben Willis, Paul Strouts and Shane Foley all made full use of their pensioner parking permits and used the time saved from not having to walk all the way from the car park to share childhood stories about Spectrum C4s, penny sweets and Bob Gyles buying a round of drinks.

In a new look midfield, Rod Beyer and Matty Knights (aka Kid n'Play from the House Party films) both had terrific games, which bodes wells for the future.  After a shaky start Hill were soon into their stride and took the lead on twenty minutes when, after a barnstorming run down the right by Ben Penfold, Neil Hurst's knock down was tucked home by Kris Sonne for his fifteenth goal of the season.  Moments later it was two when Hurst's defence splitting cross field pass released Knights whose cross was tapped home by Jack Newton.

In the second half Hill were happy to soak up the visitors pressure while looking to counter on the break and despite having the lions share of possession the visitors couldn't break down the 96 year old defence while Danny Barker behind them also had another solid game.  On the hour the game was effectively over when Shane Foley smashed home a stunning long range free-kick which left the keeper rooted to the spot.

The early kick off allowed the team to watch the championship chasing twos fight back from a goal down to snatch an unexpected 2-1 victory to clinch promotion and our congratulations go to them.  However, just when you thought the day couldn’t have any more highlights a select few were privileged to see Paul 'Travolta' Strouts and MC Bazza Chaterbox dancing and rapping their way into the night.  Very, very funny.  The album 'Superman and Rap Boy' is out now in all good record shops and some rubbish ones as well.